75 yr old roomate

Over the past 4 months I have had the privilege of living with Mrs. ____, 13 yr resident of Huntsville and world-traveler. Her husband worked for Gulf for years so she raised 3 kids and often moved their belongings from country to country all her life. She has lived in Kuwait, the Congo, Nigeria, Venezuela, London....the list continues. In each of these places she made friends with wives of other oil men if available and also with locals. She became an active member of churches located in each country and opened her home to company from all over the world. Because of these life experiences she is not your typical middle-to upperclass, Caucasian, Baptist woman in East, TX. In her spare time she teaches 2 bible classes at one of the prison units in the area. She is the only woman allowed in the unit and has been teaching for 13 years. Many of the inmats refer to her as another grandmother. She has opened her home to international studnets from the local university studying here temporarily or needing a place to live on holidays, providing transportation to them as well. During tax season she volunteers for AARP and does peoples' taxes for free, taking time to learn the new software each year in order to do this. Over the past few months of living in her home we have related to one another at several different levels. Sometimes our conversations seem as if we are "college roomates" hanging out, at other times she offers her wisdom like a grandmother and then still she constantly teaches me from her life-experiences. She is an independent woman and is self-aware about that fact. Although married for years she learned how to take care of herself and her children while he was away. This causes her to almost relate more with men than the church ladies of the choir. She looks just like the "'social ladies" of the church but when you hear her stories you find out that she has been caught in numerous riots, sometimes with her children, she has hunted gorillas, traveled alone in Africa, entertained dignitaries, the list continues.... All of these experiences make it difficult to blend in with the local gossip around a game of bridge.

In this "wildneress" experience of living in Huntsville, although I have learned MUCH about church life, ministry, social work in a ministry context, social services and ministry in rural areas and how much the Western church has screwed up the message of what it is to "be" the church..... I count some of my most crucial learning to come from Mrs. ______. She seized life and although she and her husband, when alive, lived much differently than their family or friends around them they made their own choices and regret nothing. She cannot be bottled up or contained. This spirit seems to have affected her granddaughters and children as well! Her life experiences have also opened her mind up to the possibilities and great mystery of Jesus. She looks at people with compassion, understanding the plight of those living in poverty and the depressing cycle of our justice system. This perspective comes out in her Sunday School class as she boldly challenges the mentalities of those she teaches even to the point of arguments that always end in love. She is not passive-aggressive but honest. She is not necessarily warm & nurturing but genuine at the same time. She is frusterated at her generation -- for using retirement only for themselves and their families rather than making time to help the greater society and world.

I am quite fascinated wiht her and she has reminded me that my 'idealism' does NOT have to be only while I'm in my 20s or in graduate school. It is a choice to remain hopeful. It is a choice to continue taking time to make some part of the world a better place. It is a choice to be who I am with no apologies...regardless of what others think and to not worry about "blending in" with those around me. It is a choice to stand for something and to live it. I hope that "compassion fatigue" does not take me under but that when I am in my 70s I will be going ever so strong....living life like Mrs. _____. I am so thankful to have experienced her in my life at this time.