I attribute my current outlook in life and ability to view and glimpse hope, to a present and active God working through my social work education. It is my faith coupled with social work values of people of all shapes and sizes, those in the depths of despair and those on top of mountains, that helps me to grasp an understanding of a supernatural power at work, a God that would take our form and dwell among us so that we may understand a new way to live. Without realizing how my heart would be transformed I served as the benevolence coordinator for a large Baptist church while putting myself through my first years of seminary and the graduate social work program. I was able to view persons coming in for assistance with a strengths perspective and identify assets in their environments that provided both that individual and myself hope as we planned to get them through another day. I began to see how identical this was to the way Jesus viewed and lived among people. When Jesus saw people in their most broken state he saw hope for restoration. Learning to let some of the most marginalized in our society teach me the deepest lessons about faith helped me to not give up on my own beliefs.
With this filter I signed up to serve alongside a group on a mission trip to the heart of the Amazon basin this summer. My task was to be one of 30 Americans traveling to various villages by boat offering medical and dental services primarily but also providing entertainment for children and adults, concluding the day with a joint worship service. Although somewhat cynical about our typical American approach to missions I still desired to go and serve as best I could, hoping to learn from the people in return. What I didn’t expect was to encounter such a diverse American team. I had typically gone on mission trips with a bunch of middle to upperclass, church people who seemed to have it all together. This group was comprised of both church-goers and non-church-goers alike, various denominations and ages. One man, Fred (for the purposes of this article) in particular had not been to church in years. He found out he was going on the trip only a couple of weeks prior to leaving. He was hired to paint the trip leader’s house and one afternoon while taking a break from painting sat down at their piano and began to play hymns he recalled from his past. The trip leaders wife walked in and requested he play “It is well with my soul” as that was her recently deceased father’s favorite hymn. Fred played as she clung to pictures of her father and wept. He began to weep as he told me this story and claimed that that was the first time he had been used to minister to someone through music in years. He was a crack addict and had spent the last 10 years of his life losing his job, wife, kids and dignity, losing himself with every sexual act and despicable job he took just for a small amount of drugs to feed his addiction.
For the rest of the trip I visited late at night on the boat with this man and watched him as he threw himself fully into service, leading us by keyboard in worship and making himself available for any task that had to be done. Where the rest of us were quick to put up boundaries of what we were and were not willing to do for fear that we would be taken advantage of or would work harder than another, he did not hold back at all. One night during devotionals as the rest of us reflected on experiences of the day with the mindset that the villagers needed us and what all we had taught them…… Fred shared that perhaps we were there to learn from the villagers. He reflected on how many of the families lived together in the villages, how they ate meals together regularly and how close-nit the community was, neighbor taking care of neighbor. He said, “our friends in these villages don’t seem unhappy or in need at all, perhaps we are here to learn from them, our brothers and sisters.” This blew me away because I knew his story behind that reflection. Once again I was witnessing a moment where the world would tell us to give up on this man but Jesus hadn’t and Jesus was working through him in a powerful way. Throughout the gospel of Luke one can see where Jesus works through individuals and those whom are forgiven seem to know how to love much. I witnessed that, something straight out of the gospel, before my own eyes. Fred was given a second chance; this broken vessel was used by God to minister in powerful ways not only to our brothers and sisters living in poor villages along the Amazon but also to those of us pompous, successful American Christians supposedly on his team. He has experienced forgiveness and did not let anything hold him back from loving others around him that week so that we could seek the sources to experience and receive that forgiveness also.
The last night of our trip during devotional time we concluded with a foot-washing service. I have never participated in this before and when given the opportunity I’ve usually not attended out of fear. I was moved to do something out of the ordinary for myself however this particular evening. As our boat coasted down the moonlit Amazon away from the villages and towards the city of Manaus, the background music of the service stopped as the former addict and now profound musician and instrument of God wept while I washed his feet with water and my tears. The kingdom of God lies in such as these, my eyes glimpsed the glory of what God is daily trying to teach us and I’m so very thankful I listened this time.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Beautiful.
I spent time and got to know the tangible definition of beauty and peace today. I helped her into my car, sat by her in church, held her hand during the moving worship service, ate lunch with her and grocery shopped with her. Two years ago I would have not seen the beauty in her. Two years ago I would have tried to find a purpose for her and would have spent time with her out of guilt. I would have unknowingly felt superior to her and most likely become frustrated with the time it takes to move from vehicle to walker and from conversation to conversation.
The human condition of needing love and acceptance is interesting. Although my life functioned well without this beauty, I somehow now need her. Is it because she tells me I am the daughter God always brings into her life each city she lives because she never had children? Is it because of the unusual spirit that oozes out of her when in her presence? Is it because I need someone to listen or an affirmation that I'm doing a good deed? I don’t know but I somehow need her and she needs me.
This beauty is a 58 yr old African-American woman who happens to live with cerebral palsy. We met serving together at church and just clicked. Within the 6 hrs we spent time together today, I was moved and brought to tears by her wisdom and passion for life. Again, two years ago I would have been moved because I would not expect a woman with her disability to be living as vibrantly as she. Today I was moved by HER and everything that she stands for, lives for and encompasses. Cheezy as it may sound, it is as if I spent time with Jesus.
When I am with her life HAS to move slow. People stare constantly and yet when she looks up and smiles at them they somehow seem to change. The only thing different about her that I see is that she has hope…..really…..she never doubts it. She interacts with Jesus in daily conversation. When I’m with her she shares with me about how Jesus made her smile this morning with what he told her. When I’m with her I’m completely present because of all that she needs from me. When I’m with her I’m a servant.
Lessons learned in her presence today:
Today in our conversation alone she reminded me that when we feel the need to control things in our life it is only because we fear something. This floored me and I realized how this was true in so many areas of my life.
When sharing about her love life she said that to get a man you have to remind them of how great they are and let them take care of you. Through social work, seeing so many women’s lives shattered from abusive men I was immediately on the defensive --- “but what if they still screw you over?” I asked the beauty, to which she replied, “then you stop trying to control and trust God with your life.”
She said women that find themselves in positions such as that often don’t love themselves already. “How can you expect a man, or anyone for that matter to see beauty in your body and who you are if YOU don’t see it yourself??” This hit me pretty hard. She said, “at the age of 58, I am beautiful. I know I am.” Then smiled and continued on her walker past me with a smirk of confidence.
Later, when talking about my hectic lifestyle, including bad eating and sleeping habits she asked me about a personal, previous health concern I had told her about. She asked me why I had not gone to the doctor but I told her I was just too busy to schedule an appointment and take the time to figure it out. “There haven’t been any major problems, it will work out,” I said, to which she replied, “I remember when I thought I was invincible once too… ha.”
She told me that a long time ago she made a commitment to God to be thankful to Him for everything. She said she did not want to get to heaven someday and tell Jesus that she lived in anger towards him because he had made a mistake with her. She wanted him to know that she loves herself and did the best she could to spread His love through her until her final day. That is why she is active in yoga, church life, prayer and eating healthy daily. She said life is too short to take your body for granted.
All day these lessons have consumed me. Most often, after 4 years surrounded by a Bible-belt, college culture where it was cool to say “I’m praying for you” and know the praise songs, when someone says God told them to do something I scoff. When she tells me that she speaks with Jesus regularly…I believe it. There is a sincerity in her eyes and voice…something changes and I find myself desperately wanting to know what He told her.
This relationship seems to be a repeat of my experiences working with persons in need from the community through the benevolence program at FBC last year. The people in society we fear because we do not understand…those we often do not “have the time” to take time and care for… are the mediators between us and Jesus. Or at least they have been the mediators for me. I believe through their belief….and I see why Jesus spent time with certain people….because they were beautiful.
The human condition of needing love and acceptance is interesting. Although my life functioned well without this beauty, I somehow now need her. Is it because she tells me I am the daughter God always brings into her life each city she lives because she never had children? Is it because of the unusual spirit that oozes out of her when in her presence? Is it because I need someone to listen or an affirmation that I'm doing a good deed? I don’t know but I somehow need her and she needs me.
This beauty is a 58 yr old African-American woman who happens to live with cerebral palsy. We met serving together at church and just clicked. Within the 6 hrs we spent time together today, I was moved and brought to tears by her wisdom and passion for life. Again, two years ago I would have been moved because I would not expect a woman with her disability to be living as vibrantly as she. Today I was moved by HER and everything that she stands for, lives for and encompasses. Cheezy as it may sound, it is as if I spent time with Jesus.
When I am with her life HAS to move slow. People stare constantly and yet when she looks up and smiles at them they somehow seem to change. The only thing different about her that I see is that she has hope…..really…..she never doubts it. She interacts with Jesus in daily conversation. When I’m with her she shares with me about how Jesus made her smile this morning with what he told her. When I’m with her I’m completely present because of all that she needs from me. When I’m with her I’m a servant.
Lessons learned in her presence today:
Today in our conversation alone she reminded me that when we feel the need to control things in our life it is only because we fear something. This floored me and I realized how this was true in so many areas of my life.
When sharing about her love life she said that to get a man you have to remind them of how great they are and let them take care of you. Through social work, seeing so many women’s lives shattered from abusive men I was immediately on the defensive --- “but what if they still screw you over?” I asked the beauty, to which she replied, “then you stop trying to control and trust God with your life.”
She said women that find themselves in positions such as that often don’t love themselves already. “How can you expect a man, or anyone for that matter to see beauty in your body and who you are if YOU don’t see it yourself??” This hit me pretty hard. She said, “at the age of 58, I am beautiful. I know I am.” Then smiled and continued on her walker past me with a smirk of confidence.
Later, when talking about my hectic lifestyle, including bad eating and sleeping habits she asked me about a personal, previous health concern I had told her about. She asked me why I had not gone to the doctor but I told her I was just too busy to schedule an appointment and take the time to figure it out. “There haven’t been any major problems, it will work out,” I said, to which she replied, “I remember when I thought I was invincible once too… ha.”
She told me that a long time ago she made a commitment to God to be thankful to Him for everything. She said she did not want to get to heaven someday and tell Jesus that she lived in anger towards him because he had made a mistake with her. She wanted him to know that she loves herself and did the best she could to spread His love through her until her final day. That is why she is active in yoga, church life, prayer and eating healthy daily. She said life is too short to take your body for granted.
All day these lessons have consumed me. Most often, after 4 years surrounded by a Bible-belt, college culture where it was cool to say “I’m praying for you” and know the praise songs, when someone says God told them to do something I scoff. When she tells me that she speaks with Jesus regularly…I believe it. There is a sincerity in her eyes and voice…something changes and I find myself desperately wanting to know what He told her.
This relationship seems to be a repeat of my experiences working with persons in need from the community through the benevolence program at FBC last year. The people in society we fear because we do not understand…those we often do not “have the time” to take time and care for… are the mediators between us and Jesus. Or at least they have been the mediators for me. I believe through their belief….and I see why Jesus spent time with certain people….because they were beautiful.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Enough
This weekend I became fully aware that there is a “me” that I do not like. It tries too hard to make friends, cannot handle missing out and struggles with not being the center of attention. I realized last night that I live as if I am “chosen” and that although I believe that ALL are chosen by God and have opportunity to realize and believe in this grace, I confuse this confidence, freedom and joy so much with an arrogance and superiority given to me by the world. I live sometimes as if my choseness is because of something I do or because I looked a certain way that makes me special.
If I was truly chosen and recognized my fullness in Christ, would I not then be that much more aware of my downward mobility in the world and kingdom I live in – a kingdom in which Jesus is ever present and active. I am ashamed to think there is ANYTHING that I could do or am that makes me set apart. Anything I have “done” is only a glimmer of who I am and hoping to become as I learn to surrender to Jesus these things. It’s a mentality shift, heart change and a work of divine grace as I live each day. I am thankful for God’s love and terribly disturbed at who I’ve become. I believed that because of who I was and what I did for God meant that I deserved from God. Perhaps this mislead belief is why I’ve been so miserable at times and why I’ve had broken relationships, missed out on true joy in situations in life and because I was expecting them to fulfill my every need rather than looking at them as an undeserved, unexpected gift that could teach me.
The best experience I could have gone through was to serve in a small town in TX, in a small church not aware of the power and value of the skills social work could contribute to a church context.. I struggled not being constantly praised. I struggled with not having control of anything and yet I was closet to Jesus than ever. At one point I felt God was asking, “Am I enough for you Mallory?” and I said honestly, “No.” I felt I deserved more. I want to serve God and want others to feel hope that I know – especially after seeing what despair tangibly looks like in other countries, in the US, in our own community, in the eyes of my friends and in myself. I believe there is more to faith than Sunday morning, scripture, deacon’s meeting, not missing Sunday school, VBS, not cussing and not drinking. God is crying out for us to realize this truth and showing the truth to us daily but we don’t say “yes” to him because if we’re honest with ourselves we don’t believe he is enough. We want to serve God and still get what we deserve for it.
I recognize now that while I can still be honest in what I desire – I do not “deserve” those things and if I force or control what I want to occur in my life – I might actually get that but will never understand my fullness in life or the fullness of that gift until I can truly believe an accept that God is enough above all of those things. What does it take for me to realize that God is enough? How do I avoid temptations of what I deserve when the world tells us constantly that we do deserve and there is not point in believing in something that doesn’t deliver??
There’s no one to trust. And there is no right or wrong – even in the midst of the world in which I am studying and being shaped to know God better. One cannot trust the legalistic bible-abiding gossip more than the good-hearted, out-of-control drunkard or anyone in between-- that are all only trying to figure out who they are and what God wants with them. Because of this I can choose to despair even further and be ashamed of my own lack of trustworthiness OR fall in line with the attitude of grace, recognizing that because we are all searching we need a higher power that saves us daily and teaches us through one another about a character of grace and love. I’ve come to understand at the moment I guess that THAT is enough for me. And THAT is actually God. It is only enough for me if it is intentional and so it requires something of me. It requires seeking God in all of these situations of struggle, joy, temptation and disappointment rather than controlling and figuring it out on my own.
God you show yourself in unlikely faces,
And I don’t know why I still believe in you sometimes.
But when the despair becomes too much
You’ve never NOT revealed a truth or path.
What is it about me that you care so much for,
When time and time again I’ve thrown your grace away?
I’ve proven myself a hard heart acting in your name.
I find it hard to claim your work or utter your name even in the presence of friends.
Then there are moments in others’ lives I cannot explain.
Others seem to be rewarded what I felt I deserved.
I find myself 8 steps behind in what I know of you,
Giving up is easy and so I do.
Thinking I have a choice in the matter but
I don’t really when my heart aches so to ignore the issue.
They have it together but they don’t
The aura around them is dark
What I can do? Mine is not much different.
YOU do it! YOU bring your miracles and prove your
Power – why are you waiting for us? It’s too late.
Our buildings, status and lives that we cannot control anyway
Mean too much! Just give up, we’re never going to get it.
“Yes, you are”
If I was truly chosen and recognized my fullness in Christ, would I not then be that much more aware of my downward mobility in the world and kingdom I live in – a kingdom in which Jesus is ever present and active. I am ashamed to think there is ANYTHING that I could do or am that makes me set apart. Anything I have “done” is only a glimmer of who I am and hoping to become as I learn to surrender to Jesus these things. It’s a mentality shift, heart change and a work of divine grace as I live each day. I am thankful for God’s love and terribly disturbed at who I’ve become. I believed that because of who I was and what I did for God meant that I deserved from God. Perhaps this mislead belief is why I’ve been so miserable at times and why I’ve had broken relationships, missed out on true joy in situations in life and because I was expecting them to fulfill my every need rather than looking at them as an undeserved, unexpected gift that could teach me.
The best experience I could have gone through was to serve in a small town in TX, in a small church not aware of the power and value of the skills social work could contribute to a church context.. I struggled not being constantly praised. I struggled with not having control of anything and yet I was closet to Jesus than ever. At one point I felt God was asking, “Am I enough for you Mallory?” and I said honestly, “No.” I felt I deserved more. I want to serve God and want others to feel hope that I know – especially after seeing what despair tangibly looks like in other countries, in the US, in our own community, in the eyes of my friends and in myself. I believe there is more to faith than Sunday morning, scripture, deacon’s meeting, not missing Sunday school, VBS, not cussing and not drinking. God is crying out for us to realize this truth and showing the truth to us daily but we don’t say “yes” to him because if we’re honest with ourselves we don’t believe he is enough. We want to serve God and still get what we deserve for it.
I recognize now that while I can still be honest in what I desire – I do not “deserve” those things and if I force or control what I want to occur in my life – I might actually get that but will never understand my fullness in life or the fullness of that gift until I can truly believe an accept that God is enough above all of those things. What does it take for me to realize that God is enough? How do I avoid temptations of what I deserve when the world tells us constantly that we do deserve and there is not point in believing in something that doesn’t deliver??
There’s no one to trust. And there is no right or wrong – even in the midst of the world in which I am studying and being shaped to know God better. One cannot trust the legalistic bible-abiding gossip more than the good-hearted, out-of-control drunkard or anyone in between-- that are all only trying to figure out who they are and what God wants with them. Because of this I can choose to despair even further and be ashamed of my own lack of trustworthiness OR fall in line with the attitude of grace, recognizing that because we are all searching we need a higher power that saves us daily and teaches us through one another about a character of grace and love. I’ve come to understand at the moment I guess that THAT is enough for me. And THAT is actually God. It is only enough for me if it is intentional and so it requires something of me. It requires seeking God in all of these situations of struggle, joy, temptation and disappointment rather than controlling and figuring it out on my own.
God you show yourself in unlikely faces,
And I don’t know why I still believe in you sometimes.
But when the despair becomes too much
You’ve never NOT revealed a truth or path.
What is it about me that you care so much for,
When time and time again I’ve thrown your grace away?
I’ve proven myself a hard heart acting in your name.
I find it hard to claim your work or utter your name even in the presence of friends.
Then there are moments in others’ lives I cannot explain.
Others seem to be rewarded what I felt I deserved.
I find myself 8 steps behind in what I know of you,
Giving up is easy and so I do.
Thinking I have a choice in the matter but
I don’t really when my heart aches so to ignore the issue.
They have it together but they don’t
The aura around them is dark
What I can do? Mine is not much different.
YOU do it! YOU bring your miracles and prove your
Power – why are you waiting for us? It’s too late.
Our buildings, status and lives that we cannot control anyway
Mean too much! Just give up, we’re never going to get it.
“Yes, you are”
Rhythm of my Life
The rhythm I function on is chaotic, 60% purposeless sand functions mostly out of bursts of opportunity that feed my loneliness, hunger, despair, selfishness and anxiousness. What if all I “did” remained the same but became a rhythm through you? As if I was aware that washing dishes, drinking a beer on the porch and riding my bike to class were all connected to a rhythm that glorified you through how it affected your living creation? Perhaps then the rhythms would not be striving or escaping but SHAPING who you desire me to BE now, not just who I am becoming.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Life is Noisy
Life is noisy. Radio. TV. Ipods. Internet. Cell phones. Traffic. Children. Problems. Stresses. Gossip. Etc, etc.
More specifically:
Songs remind us of pain and easy answers that will only create more problems and lingering issues.
Television shows that, although entertaining, provide an escape that only prolongs the things we are not willing to deal with in reality.
Facebook, Myspace and Blogging allow us to communicate our feelings, our hearts, posting to see who cares or responds and tracking others’ posts and status messages as well.
Cell phones allow us to text and receive texts to remind us we have friends, communicate without the nervousness to those we want to be more than friends and keep us updated with emails and in communication with people next door, in our community and overseas.
Sounds of cars bustling to where they need to be, truckers making a living, teenagers blaring their bass…..
On top of this noise we all have internal noise such as situations and circumstances weighing heavy on our minds, gossip we hear and contribute to, fears, jealousies and pains.
Life is noisy. When the noise gets to be too much and we begin to feel enveloped by the noise that will NOT cease how do we find the constant? Is it bottled up in 3 easy steps to happiness? No way.
In the midst of the noise the constant, unfailing love of Jesus is there. In the brief interludes of children crying and complaining for a toy at Wal-mart when a passerby smiles to let you know she’s been there before. In the email you receive from a friend as you find yourself Facebook-stalking, reminding you of your worth. In the middle of escaping into hours of television rather than something you should be working on and you are reminded of your faithful roomate who is sitting beside you enjoying the lazy afternoon also. Thankfulness is a constant…a constant choice. The choice to be thankful draws us up out of the noise into praise and honor of Christ who is His among us through His people and His spirit. When the noise surrounds you be thankful and assured in knowing that it does not have to overcome you and will not when you are aware of the constant. Relationships may fail, tragedy strike, illness befall you but Christ will be the constant.
More specifically:
Songs remind us of pain and easy answers that will only create more problems and lingering issues.
Television shows that, although entertaining, provide an escape that only prolongs the things we are not willing to deal with in reality.
Facebook, Myspace and Blogging allow us to communicate our feelings, our hearts, posting to see who cares or responds and tracking others’ posts and status messages as well.
Cell phones allow us to text and receive texts to remind us we have friends, communicate without the nervousness to those we want to be more than friends and keep us updated with emails and in communication with people next door, in our community and overseas.
Sounds of cars bustling to where they need to be, truckers making a living, teenagers blaring their bass…..
On top of this noise we all have internal noise such as situations and circumstances weighing heavy on our minds, gossip we hear and contribute to, fears, jealousies and pains.
Life is noisy. When the noise gets to be too much and we begin to feel enveloped by the noise that will NOT cease how do we find the constant? Is it bottled up in 3 easy steps to happiness? No way.
In the midst of the noise the constant, unfailing love of Jesus is there. In the brief interludes of children crying and complaining for a toy at Wal-mart when a passerby smiles to let you know she’s been there before. In the email you receive from a friend as you find yourself Facebook-stalking, reminding you of your worth. In the middle of escaping into hours of television rather than something you should be working on and you are reminded of your faithful roomate who is sitting beside you enjoying the lazy afternoon also. Thankfulness is a constant…a constant choice. The choice to be thankful draws us up out of the noise into praise and honor of Christ who is His among us through His people and His spirit. When the noise surrounds you be thankful and assured in knowing that it does not have to overcome you and will not when you are aware of the constant. Relationships may fail, tragedy strike, illness befall you but Christ will be the constant.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
the meek shall inherit the earth
Today I drove in from Waco to be a part of something called “Impact Huntsville,” a gathering of youth groups from various churches in the community working on houses in need of repair. This event began as an outgrowth of Huntsville’s Promise, a non-profit organization partly funded by the city of Huntsville as an attempt to promote the well-being of youth in the community, encouraging collaborative efforts of congregations, businesses and institutions to take responsibility and action in facilitating an environment of empowerment for all youth in the community. As an “outsider” of the community, first-time participant of Impact Huntsville and not knowledgeable enough to lead construction, I was posted with 6 boys from the Elkins Lake Baptist youth group to work with 3 adults from First Christian Church of Huntsville in building a wheelchair ramp for an elderly, African-American couple.
The organizer of the wheel-chair ramp building was in a wheel-chair himself but somehow I hardly noticed, as he was by far the hardest worker of our group and most efficient. I did my best to hand tools when needed to the 6 boys and 3 men facilitating their progress and teaching them as they went along but after a while I decided to take more of a public relations role and visit with the resident of the house, Mr. Johnson. He positioned himself on the front steps of his porch so that he could recline on the railing and watch the progress going on to his right. His wife had been in a wheelchair for three months and he had been trying to get her down the steps of the porch of their dilapidated trailer home as the make-shift ramp he had attempted to build had fallen down. Our conversation began as I leaned against the same railing and asked him about his term of residence in Huntsville, which led to conversation about fishing, trying to catch rats around their trailer home and finally he commented, “You know, not everyone would come do something like this for people like us.” I asked him why he thought that was the case and he asked me to turn around and tell me what I saw. I turned around and saw an old jeep to which I answered him. “And what color is that jeep girl?” he asked, and I responded, “It is black.” He then began to tell me that although we were a church group, he was still surprised us white-folk would come help a poor black man and his wife. “We do not have the money for a wheel-chair ramp. I was so surprised you all would do this for free.”
I then began telling him about how several church youth groups were involved in these projects all over Huntsville, from Hispanic, white and African-American churches. As he asked me questions about my life, I mentioned at one point that I intended to become a minister. “Well you all in the right company, you know what the good book says, ‘the meek shall inherit the earth,’” said Mr. Johnson. After many biblical references and teachings that meant a lot to him I finally asked if he went to church anywhere in the community and he took this opportunity to teach me about power. “I don’t go to church because they only tell you you’re going to hell and they want your money.” I said that I had been to churches were I felt that way also and that perhaps if we spoke of love more often then more projects like this could happen and a community would change. He reminded me that where 2 or 3 are gathered in Jesus’ name there He is and power happens. He believed churches should work together like that. He then commented, “I believe in the Holy Spirit and that it is at work around us. I believe our job here is not to preach hell and take money but to make this earth beautiful why we are here. With the help of the Holy spirit of course.” I asked him if those of us helping out our brothers and sisters in the community today, like helping him and his wife with a wheel chair ramp, would count as making the earth beautiful. He said, “Why yes.” I said, “Well then that’s the kind of gospel and Jesus I can believe too, Mr. Johnson, we agree with you in that and that’s why woke us up this morning to come serve you.”
Mr. Johnson then proceeded to teach me about life, asking permission first, to which I gladly obliged. He taught me about power corrupting people, how you know when love is love and how the world changing all around him. I asked lots of questions as I listened and he asked me some as well. He did not know if he agreed with me being a minister since I was a woman but gave me the best compliment I could ever receive, “I can see you are different. You talk of love and see people different like you are separated from the world.”
It is sometimes the least likely people you encounter that have the most wisdom to give. During our conversation today something happened, mutuality of grace and equality was achieved as we acknowledged each other’s mishaps, judgments, failures and beliefs. At first we seemed just two completely different people by race, socio-economic class and age but soon only became only “brother and sister” in one another’s eyes. I walked away from my time spent with Mr. Johnson thinking that perhaps I should have helped more to build the ramp but then remembered two things: 1. Jesus commended Mary for sitting as His feet and being with Him 2. Jesus said (and Mr. Johnson) that the “meek shall inherit the earth.”
The organizer of the wheel-chair ramp building was in a wheel-chair himself but somehow I hardly noticed, as he was by far the hardest worker of our group and most efficient. I did my best to hand tools when needed to the 6 boys and 3 men facilitating their progress and teaching them as they went along but after a while I decided to take more of a public relations role and visit with the resident of the house, Mr. Johnson. He positioned himself on the front steps of his porch so that he could recline on the railing and watch the progress going on to his right. His wife had been in a wheelchair for three months and he had been trying to get her down the steps of the porch of their dilapidated trailer home as the make-shift ramp he had attempted to build had fallen down. Our conversation began as I leaned against the same railing and asked him about his term of residence in Huntsville, which led to conversation about fishing, trying to catch rats around their trailer home and finally he commented, “You know, not everyone would come do something like this for people like us.” I asked him why he thought that was the case and he asked me to turn around and tell me what I saw. I turned around and saw an old jeep to which I answered him. “And what color is that jeep girl?” he asked, and I responded, “It is black.” He then began to tell me that although we were a church group, he was still surprised us white-folk would come help a poor black man and his wife. “We do not have the money for a wheel-chair ramp. I was so surprised you all would do this for free.”
I then began telling him about how several church youth groups were involved in these projects all over Huntsville, from Hispanic, white and African-American churches. As he asked me questions about my life, I mentioned at one point that I intended to become a minister. “Well you all in the right company, you know what the good book says, ‘the meek shall inherit the earth,’” said Mr. Johnson. After many biblical references and teachings that meant a lot to him I finally asked if he went to church anywhere in the community and he took this opportunity to teach me about power. “I don’t go to church because they only tell you you’re going to hell and they want your money.” I said that I had been to churches were I felt that way also and that perhaps if we spoke of love more often then more projects like this could happen and a community would change. He reminded me that where 2 or 3 are gathered in Jesus’ name there He is and power happens. He believed churches should work together like that. He then commented, “I believe in the Holy Spirit and that it is at work around us. I believe our job here is not to preach hell and take money but to make this earth beautiful why we are here. With the help of the Holy spirit of course.” I asked him if those of us helping out our brothers and sisters in the community today, like helping him and his wife with a wheel chair ramp, would count as making the earth beautiful. He said, “Why yes.” I said, “Well then that’s the kind of gospel and Jesus I can believe too, Mr. Johnson, we agree with you in that and that’s why woke us up this morning to come serve you.”
Mr. Johnson then proceeded to teach me about life, asking permission first, to which I gladly obliged. He taught me about power corrupting people, how you know when love is love and how the world changing all around him. I asked lots of questions as I listened and he asked me some as well. He did not know if he agreed with me being a minister since I was a woman but gave me the best compliment I could ever receive, “I can see you are different. You talk of love and see people different like you are separated from the world.”
It is sometimes the least likely people you encounter that have the most wisdom to give. During our conversation today something happened, mutuality of grace and equality was achieved as we acknowledged each other’s mishaps, judgments, failures and beliefs. At first we seemed just two completely different people by race, socio-economic class and age but soon only became only “brother and sister” in one another’s eyes. I walked away from my time spent with Mr. Johnson thinking that perhaps I should have helped more to build the ramp but then remembered two things: 1. Jesus commended Mary for sitting as His feet and being with Him 2. Jesus said (and Mr. Johnson) that the “meek shall inherit the earth.”
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Raising Weird Kids
One of my ultimate goals in life will be to write a book or at least an article about raising children with an awareness of an Upside-Down Kingdom. What do I mean? Well in the past 3 years of my life I have been on a journey of realizing how much I have learned how to “do” church and how little I know about Jesus’ ministry and what it means to “be” the church. I am discovering and realizing each day what it truly means to be a “follower of Christ” and how counter-cultural that is or at least should be even to our present church culture and ideals. The idea of starting a family someday scares me because if I am serious about this lifestyle then I should expect and intend on raising my children with these values; however, this will mean that we may be different …even from “church” people. How do I mean? I mean that I want them to learn how to produce things instead of consume so much (and because I am beginning to learn this late in life I will probably be learning with them as I teach them). I want them not to just attend Sunday school classes and learn the Bible stories but I want to plan on having them with me as we serve and experience missions together, keeping sack lunches in our mini-van or station wagon and having them make it a practice of giving it to the man/woman begging on the corner, spending a Saturday morning after cartoons serving at the soup kitchen (I will strap the baby on my back if need be) and letting those in need hold and love my baby. I want my child to see that the Christian life is to be lived out. I want them to not be attracted by fancy programs and fancy preaching but moved by the meat of the message. I want to have people over to our house and around our table at dinner that look and act different than us --- this is not limited to the poor but anyone! So that they learn to look and experience people as Jesus did! I want to be smart about our purchases and careful about how much we give into American consumerism. In the hustle and bustle of needing to make a living and help them make friends I realize this is going to be a daily struggle and decision but I think it can happen.
A couple of summers ago I read the book “Irresistible Revolution” and was determined to attend PapaFest, a festival on Shane Claiborne’s family farm held by SimpleWay, Mennonite faith families and other intentional communities. I did not have anyone to travel with so I found a group meeting up outside of Dallas and asked if I could ride with them. None of us knew one another but we decide to embark on this adventure. One girl worked for Shell, another grew up on the streets of Houston, the other two girls grew up in 3rd world countries as Missionary Kids. Although fascinated by the stories and plights of each girl ---- I found the MK’s to be quite interesting. They were meeting up with 3 other friends of theirs that grew up in Africa also as MKs. They were all friends growing up but came to the United States and attended different universities in different parts of the country. I wondered what it was it that drew them to this festival. I soon realized that each of these girls grew up in 3rd world countries watching their parents minister to poor, desperate people. It was never a question in their lives to wonder which came first, feed the people or evangelize. They only knew that it was both, it had to be both. They knew what it was to pray for a need and see someone healed and/or tangibly see their prayer request answered and believing that it was God that answered it. They grew up knowing that “church” was an act, a daily decision to BE Christ to people. It was never a social event they grew up attending on Sunday mornings. When each of the girls came to the U.S. for college they were extremely dismayed by the churches they attended. Can you imagine? Then upon hearing about the ministry of Shane Claiborne and this “revolution” of love he was preaching based on the life of Jesus and the emphasis of Jesus’ ministry, realized that some American Christians were actually “Getting” what the Kingdom was all about and wanted to attend.
What would happen in our world if we committed to raise our kids to think in terms of the “kingdom?” Although there are books out there challenging our thoughts about Christianity today by Clairborne, Campolo, McClarren and so many more written on another level of academia…..how great would it be if there were a manual for parents and families on these issues as well? Pulling out truths and practical application for Christians in helping their children experience and know God in this way from an early age?
A couple of summers ago I read the book “Irresistible Revolution” and was determined to attend PapaFest, a festival on Shane Claiborne’s family farm held by SimpleWay, Mennonite faith families and other intentional communities. I did not have anyone to travel with so I found a group meeting up outside of Dallas and asked if I could ride with them. None of us knew one another but we decide to embark on this adventure. One girl worked for Shell, another grew up on the streets of Houston, the other two girls grew up in 3rd world countries as Missionary Kids. Although fascinated by the stories and plights of each girl ---- I found the MK’s to be quite interesting. They were meeting up with 3 other friends of theirs that grew up in Africa also as MKs. They were all friends growing up but came to the United States and attended different universities in different parts of the country. I wondered what it was it that drew them to this festival. I soon realized that each of these girls grew up in 3rd world countries watching their parents minister to poor, desperate people. It was never a question in their lives to wonder which came first, feed the people or evangelize. They only knew that it was both, it had to be both. They knew what it was to pray for a need and see someone healed and/or tangibly see their prayer request answered and believing that it was God that answered it. They grew up knowing that “church” was an act, a daily decision to BE Christ to people. It was never a social event they grew up attending on Sunday mornings. When each of the girls came to the U.S. for college they were extremely dismayed by the churches they attended. Can you imagine? Then upon hearing about the ministry of Shane Claiborne and this “revolution” of love he was preaching based on the life of Jesus and the emphasis of Jesus’ ministry, realized that some American Christians were actually “Getting” what the Kingdom was all about and wanted to attend.
What would happen in our world if we committed to raise our kids to think in terms of the “kingdom?” Although there are books out there challenging our thoughts about Christianity today by Clairborne, Campolo, McClarren and so many more written on another level of academia…..how great would it be if there were a manual for parents and families on these issues as well? Pulling out truths and practical application for Christians in helping their children experience and know God in this way from an early age?
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